Butterfly Cauldron

So, today was worse than yesterday. Of course.

I get into work and find an email from my boss, yelling at me in bold and caps! about a newsletter I've been working on. There are spacing problems. Well, duh. He insists that it all be justifed, which means that there are weird spaces between the words sometimes. If he'd just let me do it normally, there wouldn't be this problem. But noooooo. I have to get yelled at via email over a problem I tried to fix, but he wouldn't allow.

He's also mad because one of the stories in the newsletter is out of date. Well, duh. That's what happens when he can't get back to me on his edits in a reasonable time. I started this edition in JULY. He gave me a list of stories he wanted, and a deadline. So, I sat down, made out a schedule and had them done on time. He, however, did not have the two stories HE wanted to write done by the deadline. Or for another month after that. And when he did, he only did one of them and decided to just spike the second one. Fine. I get it into the format, give it to him and wait. And wait. For him to edit it and give it back to me for changes. Finally, he does. Gives me another deadline for the revisions. Which I meet. And now this. What.The.Hell.

And that was just the last damned straw for me. Just is. I don't get paid enough for this job, not with my experience and fricking Masters degree. I'm broke, my phone is now turned off because I couldn't pay the bill, my tv will be disconned next weekend and well...gah. I have a whopping $1.40 to last me two weeks.

Worst part? I haven't got the money for my medication. So, my Lupus is starting to come out of remission. I'm already getting the pain in my hands and arms again and the exhaustion is seriously causing problems. i'm on edge all the time, I'm just.....*sigh* I need a vacation. And a job with more money.

So, I'm going to spend the night working on my resume and cover letters. I found three new jobs to apply for today, I'm sure I'll find more tomorrow.

And I need to remember -- it's wrong, wrong, wrong to pray for people to errupt in a butt full of festering boils. It just is. Even though it's tempting.

Labels: stupid people, work

I'm in a quandry. I like my current job, sans one particular co-worker, and the work is easy. The boss is nice and relaxed. But...I'm vastly underpaid. True, I've gotten two raises so far this year and I'm due another one in November, but I'm also living paycheck to paycheck, barely making ends meet. Right now, I need to go grocery shopping, but I can't. Why? Because I have a check out and have my electric bill to pay, which leaves me with...maybe 50 cents in the bank until next Friday. Now,if nothing else comes out unexpectedly, I'll be okay. Then next Friday when I get paid again, I have to pay my rent, my insurance and my phone bill. Which will leave me with maybe 60 bucks -- but I also have to pay my water bill, which is 40 bucks, unless I can get an extenstion on that. So, again, no money for food. And god help me, but I had to cancel a doctor's appointment today because I didn't have the money for my co-pay or for any prescriptions I might get.

I'm not whining here. I don't want pity or anything. I'm just stating facts. I'm contemplating applying for new jobs in the area, which I hate to do because I haven't even been at my new job a year yet. But I need more money. And there seem to be a few jobs around that I could qualify for which would pay me more. There's an advisor's job at LSU that looks promising, plus another PR job at a state agency that's a step up. So, I suppose I'll be reworking my resume this weekend, much as I hate to do it.

On the one hand, even if I change jobs I'll still have friends from this agency. On the other....I really, really like the vibe of the office. It's very laid back and relaxed and just...fun. But....it's always about the money, isn't it?

Labels: money, work

Today was just....I wanted to throw someone out a window at work and I had TWO migraines. Well, I got my meds in time so they weren't full blown, but I still got the damned aura where I lose vision in my eyes. *sigh*

Okay. So, I'm had this migraine for ages it seems and last Friday I left work FIVE MINUTES early because I had my work done, I felt like hell and well, it was five fucking minutes. I forgot to sign out, so when I went to sign in this morning I was going to just fix that. . .only to find out that my office mate had signed me out. She's not supposed to do that, plus instead of signing me out at 4:30, she'd made sure to put down 4:25.

Now, this doesn't seem like a big deal -- until you find out that she was bitching to other people in the office last Friday that she's tired of me leaving work early and she was going to tell our boss. Here's the thing -- I DON'T leave work early. I shut down my computer and go into the other office (we have two big offices that are connected, ours is the back one so we leave through the main one) maybe two or three minutes before 4:30. I don't actually leave until 4:30, so if someone had some emergency between 4:28 and 4:30? They can still find me. I also come in about 15 minutes before 8, time I'm not allowed to claim due to state regs. She, however, routinely stays late.

Why does she stay late? Oh, maybe because she can't get her ass to work before 8:30 or 9 a.m.? Ever? She has three children, one of whom has had to have surgery on her club feet and well, she just /can't/ make it in on time. And our boss has let her slide because he has sympathy for her having so many kids and she's been with the agency for six or seven years. And you know? I'm fine with that. It does not bother me in the slightest, because hey, her being late does not affect my ability to do my work at all. So why would I be pissed about it? But, dear gods, let me leave five minutes early ONE time in the year I've been in this job and she's all angry and threatening to go to the boss and complain.

And you know, I really wish she would. I so very much wish she would. Because I'd just calmly go get the timesheet, hand it to him and ask him to explain why it was she was allowed to come in up to an hour late on a regular basis and I was being reprimanded for leaving early once when I had a splitting migraine and had finished my work. Because if I were to be in trouble, she'd better damned will be in MORE trouble or I'd be filing a complaint. (And, since I work for Civil Service, that actually means something.)

See, here's the thing. I know why she's mad. She's not mad at ME, she's mad at her life. She's 34 and she's got three children. The youngest was born in January, barely a year after the one before her. (Apparently, someone told her she couldn't get pregnant since she was breast feeding. Riiiight.) She's been at her job for six or seven years and will not be promoted again, because that position is a supervisor's position -- and she does NOT have the skills to be a supervisor. She just doesn't have the personality for it and she's pissed because I was brought in on the same level as she is, and have basically been suggested as the next supervisor for the department. They just have to wait to get the position re-approved. So, here I am, basically her age, no children, no husband that drives me insane and spends money on stupid shit while we're so deep in debt we're borrowing money from everyone we know, and I'm equal to her and, maybe, going to jump over her head in the promotion department.

The thing is -- it's not my fucking fault. I didn't make the decision to get married when I had planned on going to grad school like she did. I didn't decide to have three children in less than five years. I didn't decide to marry a man who has a seriously bad case of Keeping Up With The Jones when we don't make the Jones' salaries. I didn't decide to be so unpleasant and incapable of dealing with people that I will never be promoted to supervisor. It's not my fault. Those decisions were hers and she needs to own them and deal with the fallout.

She's trying to pull the parentism card on me and I'm not having it. What is parentism? That's what we call all those little things that parents get that those of us who have chosen not to have children don't. It's also the sense of resentment those parents seem to have against us. Parentism -- right up there with sexism and racism as a form of discrimination.

My co-worker is now the only parent in our office. Well, the only one with small children. The rest of us are all single and childfree -- or our children are adults and no longer at home. So, sometimes we get together after work for Mexican and margaritas. Or we hang out at each other's pools. Or we go to the movies. Or you know, whatever we can come up with. And yes, often we decide to do so on the spur of the moment, with no advanced planning. You know what? We can do that -- because we don't have children or husbands waiting at home for us. And it's not our fault she does and it's not our fault she feels jealous that we do and it's not our obligation to change our plans or not talk about our lives because it makes her uncomfortable.

You know, I have a certain amount of sympathy for people who have children who miss the lives they could have if they didn't. I really do. It's hard when you see something you want and you know you can't have it. So, I get that. But don't take out that jealousy on me. Because it's not my fucking fault you have kids and can't do all the things you want to do. It's not my fault your husband can't be bothered to help you get the kids ready and off to daycare so you can get to work on time. It's not my fault you buy into the Southern Baptist line that you're the one whose supposed to be doing all the giving and compromising in the relationship. It's not my fault you spend half of the day on the phone to your husband or your family or some bill collector yelling and bitching and can't get your work done by 4:30. If you're jealous because I have the ability to focus and to multitask, giving me more downtime than you have? Deal with it. You might notice that I'm not on the phone to my family or my SO or bill collectors every day for three hours or so. You might notice that when I get a project, I begin on it immediately. You might notice that I work fast, that I ask questions when I'm not sure what's expect of me, that I don't have the control freak nature that you do that compels you to refuse to ask for help until the very last possible minute. You want more downtime? Cultivate those qualities. Or at the very least, shut up and leave me alone.

Labels: outrage, stupid people, work

That's about all I can say, after reading this story.

If you're fat, we're going to charge you more for your insurance! Take that bitches! That's right, just because you don't have a BMI under 29, you've got to pay more for your health care! Whoohooo!

Seriously, this article has raised my blood pressure by about oh, 10 points. (Oh no! That means I'll have to pay more for that too! That's right. If you're fat, have high blood pressure or your cholesterol doesn't meet the damn company's standard, you have to pay MORE for your heath insurance.)

And why are they doing this? Because the cost of health care in general keeps going up.

Employers are getting serious about penalizing workers "because they've run out of other options" said Joe Marlowe, senior vice president at Aon Consulting, a national benefits consulting firm.

Really? No other options? How about going after the goddamn insurance companies who value profit over service? Hmm? How about that? How about pushing for (wait for it. . .) National Health Care???? What a concept!

So, they're upping premiums and deductables. And not by a little. Nooooo...those deductibles are fucking DOUBLING! (Or worse) You know why their claims have gone down? Because people now have a fucking $5000 deductible, that's why! I'm at my doctor's office all the fucking time and even I can't meet a $5000 deductible. Geez.

And I just love how the employees react to these increases:

"At first, I was mad when I thought I would be charged $30 for being overweight," said Courtney Jackson, 28, a customer service representative at Clarian. "But when I found out it was going to be broken into segments — like just $10 for being overweight — it sounded better."

Jackson said she was going to try to slim down before the plan took effect. "If I still have weight to lose when it starts," she said, "I'll deserve to pay the $10."

Yes. That's right. If you can't force your body into an unnatural, permenant, semi-starvation state, you deserve to pay more for your insurance. (And yes, $10 isn't much. But when you put it all together -- $10 twice a month, for 12 months, that's $240 more a year for being overweight. And then if you also have high blood pressure, that's another $240 a year. And if you're cholesteral is a bit high, another $240. . .hell, if some random study comes out saying that fucking green eyes are linked to a .01 percent increase in the chance you'll develop Scurvy, they'll charge for that too!)

Not everyone is on board with this, of course. Thank the gods.

Lewis Maltby, president of the National Workrights Institute, a Princeton, N.J.-based employee rights group, called the trend "a very dangerous road that could lead to employers controlling everything we do in our private lives."

"To penalize for things that are beyond some people's control is just wrong," Maltby said. "Some people are fat because that's how God made them."

Can you say lawsuit? I thought you could.

Still, some lawyers say weight-based compensation plans may run afoul of other employment laws.

"A key protection in the Americans with Disabilities Act is that employers can't discriminate against employees based on their health status," said J.D. Piro, a principal at Hewitt Associates' healthcare law group. "This is a fight that's likely going to be dealt with in the courts."

Exactly. Because I'd file a lawsuit in a heart beat. Why? Because this is illegal, that's why. It's illegal and it's giving the companies way too much fucking power. It was bad enough when people started refusing to hire (or fired!) people who smoke, now we've come to this? How long before people who have more than one sex partner a year are penalized? Or how about people who don't use birth control? Or maybe people who like to hang-glide on vacation? People who paint? Some of those chemicals can be dangerous, you know. And raising a child puts you at increased risk of contracting the diseases they bring home from playgroup. And if you're a woman, living with or dating a man puts you at increased risk of domestic violence, so we should charge more for that. Oh! Pets, they have ticks and fleas and those carry dieseases. Do you get your home regularly fumigated? Rats carry the Plague! But of course, the chemicals they use can damage you too, so we'll charge for that too....where will it end? It won't, that's where. Not until our lives are regulated and controlled by the fucking insurance companies. Gah.

Brittney Manning, 29, a patient advocate at Clarian Health's Methodist Hospital in Indianapolis, said many employees were taken aback when the plan was announced last month. But she approves.

"I think it's fair for people to pay according to what their healthcare costs are," she said. She doesn't expect to have to pay the higher fee because she says her weight is normal.

In Arkansas, Deeann Gutekunst, 42, a Benton County deputy treasurer, said she understood the rationale for the county's policy.

"If you have employees who don't care about their health," she said, "what else are you supposed to do?"

Weight does NOT equal health. When the hell will people get this through their head?? And, excuse me, but when more than half of Americans are 'overweight or obese', when are we going to stop calling people who weight less normal? Huh? I mean, I'm not a math genius, but when at least half of your population weights more than 'normal' maybe it's time to recalculate normal, mmm?

Labels: fat, outrage, stupid people, work

At last, I am free to talk about the job I've had for the last six years. Since I'm not giving away corporate secrets, and I now have a new job, fear of firing isn't a factor anymore. (Thank you gods!)

So, I've been working for a newspaper owned by Gannett. Yes, Gannett. The largest media company in the country. Gannett bought our local paper about five years ago. And since then? Oy.

I started out as a general assignment reporter. Basically, that means I wrote a little bit of everything. Which was very cool, since I like a little bit of everything. From that, I moved to writing about courts and crime, then on to the online division where I've been for the last three years.

When I started in 2000, we had a full newroom -- 10 full-time reporters and three full-time photographers, plus a photo editor who took pix part-time. Everyone was busy, but not too stressed because we had enough people to carry the load. Since our paper covers 13 parishes (aka - counties), we had two reporters assigned to do nothing by parish reporting. We had a separate reporter for police and courts. We had fulltime business reporters, fulltime government reporters, someone to handle military news specifically. It was a nice spread, so no one was overwhelmed.

Then, Gannett bought us. I'd never worked for them before and, being new to the business, had no real idea what they were like. But...three reporters who had been in the business much longer and had worked for Gannett before left within six months of us being sold. They left specifically because we'd been bought. This should have been a clue.

At first, things were fine. Not a lot of change. Then we got a new person here, a new on there. We were slowly being brought inline with corporate standards. Okay. Fine. Then, one of our city reporters left. No one was hired to fill her spot, her workload was simply shifted to the other city reporter. Then another reporter left. They too were not replaced, their work simply passed on to someone else. This kept happening, until now we're down to four reporters. From 10 to 4 in six years. With the same workload. People are completely overworked, stressed and ready to scream. No one has time to do their own projects, plus they're always being pulled away to do special projects -- which they also have time for. What happens in a situation like this? People start to make mistakes, issues get just surface coverage, things get missed. The reporters want to do their job, they want to be able to give things the coverage and depth they deserve, but they just don't have time.

The other thing they did when they took over is give everyone a pay raise. Yay! Except -- after that there were no pay raises for three years. For three years, no pay raises and increasing insurance prices. You do the math. So, even when they were looking for new reporters, they couldn't get anyone to take the jobs because the pay is too awful.

Then there are the constant changes to the paper itself. We're a smalltown paper, focused on community news. Except there's a corporate way to do those stories. They want them all to look the same, follow the same format, be streamlined. There's a one-size fits all approach, regardless of where the paper is in the country, what the community is like, whatever. It must follow the Gannett format or it won't be done. Which means, often, that what the reporters actually write is changed by the editors before it goes into the paper. I lost count of the number of times I would write a story, go home and the next morning when I read the paper the story didn't look a damned thing like what I had written. Quotes would be changed, or the writing around it would be changed to suggest a different meaning, there would be things added that I hadn't reported -- but my name was on the thing, so I was the one who got bitched at when people started calling to complain.

I've seen two reporters (people of color too, so when they left our newsroom was lily white again) driven out of their jobs, when it was unwarranted. These were people who were good at their job but were overworked to the point where they couldn't keep up. They'd asked for more time, they'd asked to have their concerns addressed but were dismissed instead. I've seen a paper that was once about twice its current size shrunk slowly, with the type shrinking and the number of ad pages going up while the space devoted to news is whittled away. I've seen freaking advertising on the front page. I've seen the focus go from doing good news reporting to watching the bottom line. News has become a commodity to be bought and sold.

Everytime someone says the media is liberal I just want to laugh. No, no it's not. It's decidedly conservative. Now, most reporters are liberals. They're also mostly professional enough not to let that totally color a story. Editors and publishers, however, tend to be conservative and they're the ones who decide what actually makes it into the paper and what gets covered in the first place. Here's a good rule of thumb: the more money they make, the more conservative they are.

There is a pretense at balance, but the fact is, it's not in the corporate interests to really rock the boat too much. Sure, there are certain flagship publications that have the OK to be a bit risk-taking, but for most of us? No way. Follow the formula or find another job.

Which pisses me off, because the reporters I know are vastly talented and driven. They want to dig deep, they want to expose lies, they want to serve the public trust but they are blocked at almost every turn by corporate policy that cowtows to the money makers.

So, please. Give reporters a break? Throw stones at the editors and publishers, but reporters are honestly doing their best to do their job.

Labels: outrage, work