Butterfly Cauldron

Thursday, October 30, 2008

This is Love

That's me and Emmy when she was here in April, at the most amazing fondue place, The Melting Pot. (See Emmy, I DID finally pull it off the camera. And really, it's not so bad.)

And this is me and Emmy a mere two days ago, at 4 in the morning just before she had to get on a plane back to Barbaria.

My pretty, pretty Emmy

These are our children:


Rain and River, the twins. (Rain is looking at the camera, River continues to snooze.)


This is love. This is a family. This isn't a threat to anyone. So why can't we be legal?
posted by Zan at 7:35 PM 11 comments

Two days gone

Emmy left Tuesday morning. I feel like my heart has been torn out. Little things are making me cry. Her coffee cup in the sink. A headband she left behind. The t-shirts that didn't fit in her suitcase. It all makes me break down and when I cry, it's a torrent. Even the cats are mourning. Rain clings to me as though she's afraid I'll disappear too.

And this didn't have to happen. If our immigration laws were decent, if they let citizens sponsor same-sex partners, if we had a visa for people who were looking for work and had willing sponsors, if if if. But we don't. There's no way for people in same-sex relationships to bring their partners into the country legally. And, when Emmy finds work here and gets a work visa, she'll only be able to stay in the country legally as long as her job lasts.

There is a chance, because she is trans and still legally male, that we can get her here on a fiance visa. A chance. But when it comes out that she is trans, it's likely that the visa would be denied. We could just get married and hope for the best, but it's the same situation. The visa would likely be denied, because it is the policy of the US Government to deny transgendered people the right to immigrate on a spousal visa. So, even if we got married legally (which we could in Louisiana, because Louisiana does not legally recognize transgendered people as their true gender until SSR has been preformed), we would still not be allowed to live together full-time in this country.

How is this fair? How is this even the slightest bit right? And it's so very easy to remedy. Legalize same-sex marriage at the federal level. Extend to all couples, regardless of gender, the legal right to marry. Immigration rights, insurance rights, visitation rights, adoption rights, full and complete equality under the law. If the genders of the people marry did not marry, Emmy and I could apply for a fiance visa and be certain it would be granted. We could know that our separation was not only temporary, it had a definate end date. It wouldn't keep me from crying, but it would help me to know when I could hold her again.

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posted by Zan at 5:38 PM 5 comments