Butterfly Cauldron
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Anonymous, smnonymous....
In honor of National Coming Out Day (what? You didn't know that was today? Shame on you!), I've decided to come out of the closet. The Anonymous blogger closet, that is. (Like anyone whose read a fraction of this blog is unaware of my bisexuality. Please. So that coming out has been and gone.)
Why? Well, the reason I was anonymous to begin with was because I was working out some stuff and wanted to do it on a blog where no one knew me. So, instead of my Livejournal, I started this little spot. I was wanting to talk about religion and sex and other stuff, without the people who knew me in RL knowing what I was doing. And I was also working for a company that would have fired my ass for blogging something that would make the company look bad. (Gannett is the DEVIL. Gannett is Satan's Handmaiden and is destroying journalism. Corporate media is BAD!!!!!)
Ahem.
Well, I no longer work for the Devil and I've worked through the crap I wanted to work through. Plus, now I have a Civil Service job that affords me lots of protection, so my job is pretty damned safe. I can't go around endorsing or harpooning any political candidates/parties, but other than that? I'm pretty much covered. (But I can still take positions on issues, so we're all good.)
And frankly, I'm going to be 33 next year. If someone has a problem with my faith or my sexuality, they can go fuck themselves. I'm an adult, this is America and you can just deal.
So, why should I stay anonymous? If people give me too much shit, I'll just blow this place up and start a new blog. *shrug* And so, I give you....Moi:
Admittedly, not the best photo I've ever taken and my hair is currently longer, darker and I have new glasses, but....that would be me, in all my glory. Gaze upon me and drool, for I know you want to.
Why? Well, the reason I was anonymous to begin with was because I was working out some stuff and wanted to do it on a blog where no one knew me. So, instead of my Livejournal, I started this little spot. I was wanting to talk about religion and sex and other stuff, without the people who knew me in RL knowing what I was doing. And I was also working for a company that would have fired my ass for blogging something that would make the company look bad. (Gannett is the DEVIL. Gannett is Satan's Handmaiden and is destroying journalism. Corporate media is BAD!!!!!)
Ahem.
Well, I no longer work for the Devil and I've worked through the crap I wanted to work through. Plus, now I have a Civil Service job that affords me lots of protection, so my job is pretty damned safe. I can't go around endorsing or harpooning any political candidates/parties, but other than that? I'm pretty much covered. (But I can still take positions on issues, so we're all good.)
And frankly, I'm going to be 33 next year. If someone has a problem with my faith or my sexuality, they can go fuck themselves. I'm an adult, this is America and you can just deal.
So, why should I stay anonymous? If people give me too much shit, I'll just blow this place up and start a new blog. *shrug* And so, I give you....Moi:
Admittedly, not the best photo I've ever taken and my hair is currently longer, darker and I have new glasses, but....that would be me, in all my glory. Gaze upon me and drool, for I know you want to.
Labels: bisexuality, body acceptance, fat, fun, pagan
Thursday, September 14, 2006
So much drama over a pentacle?
At last, common sense prevails. If a soldier can put the symbol of their faith -- including Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Sikhism and 20-plus other religions -- on their headstone, then Wiccans should get fair play too.
ENO, Nev. (AP) — The widow of a soldier killed in Afghanistan won state approval Wednesday to place a Wiccan religious symbol on his memorial plaque, something the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs had refused.
“I’m honored and ecstatic. I’ve been waiting a year for this,” Roberta Stewart said from her home in Fernley, about 30 miles east of Reno.
Sgt. Patrick Stewart, 34, was killed in Afghanistan last September when a rocket-propelled grenade struck his helicopter. Four others also died. Stewart was posthumously awarded the Bronze Star and the Purple Heart.
He was a follower of the Wiccan religion, which the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs does not recognize and therefore prohibits on veterans’ headstones in national cemeteries.
But state officials said they had received a legal opinion from the Nevada attorney general’s office that concluded federal officials have no authority over state veterans’ cemeteries. They now plan to have a contractor construct a plaque with the Wiccan pentacle — a circle around a five-pointed star — to be added to the Veterans’ Memorial Wall in Fernley.
“The VA still has not determined yet if a Wiccan symbol can go on the headstone,” said Tim Tetz, executive director of the Nevada Office of Veterans Services. “But we have determined we control the state cemetery and that we therefore have the ability to recognize him for his service to his country.”
Wiccans worship the earth and believe they must give to the community. Some consider themselves good witches, pagans or neo-pagans.
The Veterans Affairs’ National Cemetery Administration allows only approved emblems of religious beliefs on government headstones. Over the years, it has approved more than 30, including symbols for the Tenrikyo Church, United Moravian Church and Sikhs. There is also an emblem for atheists.
This always seemed to be a no-brainer to me. If you allow one faith, you have to allow all faiths. Period. (Although -- what symbol would be used for athiests? I'm curious, really, that's not a snarky question.)
Labels: death, non-christian, pagan, religion, war
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
You can die for your country and we'll just pretend you're a Christian, 'k?
This isn't news, of course, but the armed forces are still refusing to acknowledge Wicca as a legitimate religion. Apparently, even giving your life in the line of duty isn't enough to earn a soldier the right to have his faith acknowledged on his tombstone.
War widow holds protest service for husband, awaits plaque decision
By TOM GARDNER
Associated Press Write
FERNLEY, Nev. (AP) -- A war widow who wants the government to put a Wiccan religious symbol on her husband?s memorial plaque held an alternative service Monday as a protest, hours before an official Memorial Day ceremony nearby.
"This is discrimination against our religion," Roberta Stewart said at the gathering of about 200 at a park east of Fernley for her late husband, Sgt. Patrick Stewart. "I ask you to help us remember that all freedoms are worth fighting for."
A few hours later and a few miles away in this pastoral community east of Reno, official Memorial Day ceremonies were conducted at the Northern Nevada Veterans Memorial Cemetery.
The space reserved for a plaque in Stewart's name on a wall at the cemetery remains blank.
The Department of Veterans Affairs so far has refused to grant the Stewart family's request to have the Wiccan pentacle, a five-pointed star surrounded by a circle, placed on the government-issued plaque.
Stewart, 34, was killed in Afghanistan on Sept. 25 when a rocket-propelled grenade struck his helicopter. Four others also died. Stewart was posthumously awarded the Bronze Star and the Purple Heart.
Wiccans worship the Earth and believe they must give to the community. Some consider themselves "white"or good witches, pagans or neo-pagans.
"We are here today to honor American religious diversity of all faiths," the Rev. Selena Fox said at the alternative memorial service.
Fox, senior minister of a Wiccan group based in Wisconsin, said Stewart died defending the country that is denying him the right to express his religious freedom.
Jo Schuda, a spokeswoman for the VA, said Friday she did not know when a decision would be made on the request.
Approximately 1,800 active-duty service members identify themselves as Wiccans, according to 2005 Defense Department statistics
I'm struck by the image of that blank plaque. I can imagine it, surrounded by other plaques bearing crosses or Stars of David or sigils of other offically approved religions. I assume it bears Stewart's name, but perhaps not. But suppose it does. A name and nothing more, completely ignoring a lifetime of faith. You can't, of course, obliterate that faith -- regardless of how hard you try. Not marking a plaque or a grave does not mean that faith does not exist. It does not mean domination for the Approved Tirade (that being Christianity, Judiasm and Islam). It only provides an illusion.
Interestingly, to me anyway, the image of a blank plaque can be read as rather pagan. It can be seen as an image of the rune Wyrd (and yes, yes. I'm aware of the controversy surrounding the use of a blank rune in casting. I'm merely saying, lots of modern casters use it and it therefore can serve as a symbol of a pagan faith.). Wyrd is a totally blank rune, generally interpreted as signifying fate, the inevitable. Neither good nor bad, it simply is. Sacrifice is inevitable. Death is inevitable. Grief is inevitable. And, as anyone who follows an 'unapproved' path knows, fighting for recognition is inevitable. So, while Stewart's plaque (and, I'm assuming, at this point his gravestone) does not bear a particularly Wiccan symbol (although I know plenty of Wiccans who use runes), it may well already bear a pagan image.
Not that his wife should stop fighting. Frankly, she should be able to put anything on her husband's tomb she damned well pleases. We had a recent problem at our army base here where two kids were basically kicked out of Boy Scouts because they admitted they were Wiccan. There was a big to-do and eventually they were let back in. At which point, a bunch of other kids got pulled out by their parents because they didn't want their sons "preached to" by the Wiccan boys. Ironic, isn't it? Those boys had been in the club for a while, no one knew about their beliefs and wouldn't have, if the scout leader hadn't asked them what church they went to. (Funny story -- the info came out because the leader was trying to show the boys how religiously "diverse" the group was. He was saying how they had Baptists, Methodists, Catholics and a Pentecostal. No, seriously. That's what passes as religious diversity down here.) So, to keep peace, the boys parents took them out of Boy Scouts and have started a chapter of Spiral Scouts on base. And they've gotten lots of interested parties. A lot of people don't realize just how many Wiccan/Pagan/Heathen soldiers there are.
Which is why I think it's inevitable that we're gonna get recognition. It's like water, slowly reshaping the world. I hope Stewart wins and gets her pentagram. And I hope it becomes easier, for the next soldier, to have the government he/she died for recognize their belief system.
War widow holds protest service for husband, awaits plaque decision
By TOM GARDNER
Associated Press Write
FERNLEY, Nev. (AP) -- A war widow who wants the government to put a Wiccan religious symbol on her husband?s memorial plaque held an alternative service Monday as a protest, hours before an official Memorial Day ceremony nearby.
"This is discrimination against our religion," Roberta Stewart said at the gathering of about 200 at a park east of Fernley for her late husband, Sgt. Patrick Stewart. "I ask you to help us remember that all freedoms are worth fighting for."
A few hours later and a few miles away in this pastoral community east of Reno, official Memorial Day ceremonies were conducted at the Northern Nevada Veterans Memorial Cemetery.
The space reserved for a plaque in Stewart's name on a wall at the cemetery remains blank.
The Department of Veterans Affairs so far has refused to grant the Stewart family's request to have the Wiccan pentacle, a five-pointed star surrounded by a circle, placed on the government-issued plaque.
Stewart, 34, was killed in Afghanistan on Sept. 25 when a rocket-propelled grenade struck his helicopter. Four others also died. Stewart was posthumously awarded the Bronze Star and the Purple Heart.
Wiccans worship the Earth and believe they must give to the community. Some consider themselves "white"or good witches, pagans or neo-pagans.
"We are here today to honor American religious diversity of all faiths," the Rev. Selena Fox said at the alternative memorial service.
Fox, senior minister of a Wiccan group based in Wisconsin, said Stewart died defending the country that is denying him the right to express his religious freedom.
Jo Schuda, a spokeswoman for the VA, said Friday she did not know when a decision would be made on the request.
Approximately 1,800 active-duty service members identify themselves as Wiccans, according to 2005 Defense Department statistics
I'm struck by the image of that blank plaque. I can imagine it, surrounded by other plaques bearing crosses or Stars of David or sigils of other offically approved religions. I assume it bears Stewart's name, but perhaps not. But suppose it does. A name and nothing more, completely ignoring a lifetime of faith. You can't, of course, obliterate that faith -- regardless of how hard you try. Not marking a plaque or a grave does not mean that faith does not exist. It does not mean domination for the Approved Tirade (that being Christianity, Judiasm and Islam). It only provides an illusion.
Interestingly, to me anyway, the image of a blank plaque can be read as rather pagan. It can be seen as an image of the rune Wyrd (and yes, yes. I'm aware of the controversy surrounding the use of a blank rune in casting. I'm merely saying, lots of modern casters use it and it therefore can serve as a symbol of a pagan faith.). Wyrd is a totally blank rune, generally interpreted as signifying fate, the inevitable. Neither good nor bad, it simply is. Sacrifice is inevitable. Death is inevitable. Grief is inevitable. And, as anyone who follows an 'unapproved' path knows, fighting for recognition is inevitable. So, while Stewart's plaque (and, I'm assuming, at this point his gravestone) does not bear a particularly Wiccan symbol (although I know plenty of Wiccans who use runes), it may well already bear a pagan image.
Not that his wife should stop fighting. Frankly, she should be able to put anything on her husband's tomb she damned well pleases. We had a recent problem at our army base here where two kids were basically kicked out of Boy Scouts because they admitted they were Wiccan. There was a big to-do and eventually they were let back in. At which point, a bunch of other kids got pulled out by their parents because they didn't want their sons "preached to" by the Wiccan boys. Ironic, isn't it? Those boys had been in the club for a while, no one knew about their beliefs and wouldn't have, if the scout leader hadn't asked them what church they went to. (Funny story -- the info came out because the leader was trying to show the boys how religiously "diverse" the group was. He was saying how they had Baptists, Methodists, Catholics and a Pentecostal. No, seriously. That's what passes as religious diversity down here.) So, to keep peace, the boys parents took them out of Boy Scouts and have started a chapter of Spiral Scouts on base. And they've gotten lots of interested parties. A lot of people don't realize just how many Wiccan/Pagan/Heathen soldiers there are.
Which is why I think it's inevitable that we're gonna get recognition. It's like water, slowly reshaping the world. I hope Stewart wins and gets her pentagram. And I hope it becomes easier, for the next soldier, to have the government he/she died for recognize their belief system.
Labels: death, non-christian, pagan, religion, war
Sunday, January 08, 2006
How transparent does my life have to be?
That's a question I've been thinking about for awhile now. How transparent do I have to live my life? On one hand, I can be as obtuse as I like since well, it's my life. It's really not anyone else's damned business. And that works, in theory. But the reality is that everyone lives in the world, which means living with other people. And if you want to have a life, to have friends, any semblence of a social life, you've got to decide just how much other people know about you.
There are some things that are obvious about me. I'm clearly white, clearly female, clearly fat, clearly adorable. So those things, I have no control over. Other things, well. Here in the Deep Deep Deep South, everyone assumes I'm also a good Baptist girl, just like them. That I'm not isn't readily apparent. Do I tell them I'm not? Usually, yes. If the conversation comes up, I just tell them I don't go to church anymore. That usually leads to more questions, but I can generally deflect those with a "it's not god that's the problem, it's the church" which generally gets people to launch into a story or 12 of nasty 'Church Folk' they've known and soon they forget all about my not going to church anymore. So, that much is pretty easy. Do I tell them I find the Divine easier to access when I conceive of Her as female? Uh. No. That's likely to get my lynched around here. Or called a witch. Not that I mind that label too much, it's just not accurate and I figure most people around here are confused enough about witchcraft and paganism, I don't need to add to it. But anyway, how much responsiblity do I have to let people know how I really believe?
There are personal safety issues to consider. Most people around here wouldn't do anything but look at me funny and promise to pray for me. But there's always the idiot, drunk redneck who could get some crazy notion in his head to do Something About It. I don't worry too much about work backlash, since I work for Big Company and they know they could get sued for religious discrimination. And most of my friends have at least some idea of how I believe. And yet...is that enough? Actually, most of my friends are pretty cool about it. I've become the de facto go-to girl about /any/ non-Christian religion. (Because, clearly, I know just soooo much about Judiasm. Or Buddhism. Or Islam. Actually, that does kinda irk me. Any non-Christian faith around here just kinda gets lumped in with every other non-Christian faith. *sigh*)
Also, with my sexuality, exactly how out am I supposed to be? This one is harder for me than religion, because frankly I'm more likely to get physically hurt over it. It's truely astonishing how must resistance and bigotry there is around this place to anyone whose not completely Vanilla Hetero. Again, it's the default assumption. People see me and assume, oh, she likes men. Well, yes, actually, I do. But I like women too. And sometimes, I like women more than men. Sometimes, I like men more than women. It's not an easy thing to explain to people and people don't like to be confused.
Some of my friends know I'm bi and some are really pretty damned sure, I just haven't actually said it to them. If I showed up at their house one day with a girlfriend, it would suprise them exactly none. At work? Eh. No. Not really. It's not a secret, exactly, I just haven't ever brought it up. And when I thought about it, someone would come up and make a really awful remark about 'those gay people' and that shut me right up. Which may be cowardly, but I just don't want the extra drama at the office. I call people on the comments, don't misunderstand me, I've just never said they applied to me in particular.
My family? Ha. No. Not going to be telling them anytime soon. Unless I meet a woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, anyway. Then they'll just learn to deal. I think my mother would be...okay, with it. She wouldn't like it, but she's very very good at denial. And she's gotten much better at accepting that I'm an adult and have my own life and she doesn't have any say in it. My father though, I think it would break his heart. And that's a hard thing to deal with. My father and I didn't have a particularly close relationship when I was growing up. I didn't turn out the way he expected his little girl to, I think. I was extremely headstrong, decidedly not girly, hated the very rural life he was living, dove headfirst into all sorts of things that scared him to death and generally did whatever I wanted and didn't care what other people thought about me. On one hand, he's insanely proud of me. On the other, he doesn't know how to handle a daughter who doesn't act like a girl is 'supposed to.'
We're much better now, though. My relationship with both my parents got a hellava lot better when I moved out of the house all those many years ago. Now that my brother has finally given them a grandbaby, things are pretty close to peachy. (Because if they looked at me for a grandchild one more time, I was going to scream. You'd think the fact that I've been telling them since I was 12 that I didn't want children would have given them a clue, but no.)
And yet...and yet I know I can't tell them this. I would, like I said, if I meet the woman o'my dreams. There are limits to how much I'm willing to protect them and sacrificing a good relationship is not one of them. But do they need to know otherwise? If it would cause them pain and cause nothing but drama for the family, is it really worth it to lay all the cards on the table?
There are some things that are obvious about me. I'm clearly white, clearly female, clearly fat, clearly adorable. So those things, I have no control over. Other things, well. Here in the Deep Deep Deep South, everyone assumes I'm also a good Baptist girl, just like them. That I'm not isn't readily apparent. Do I tell them I'm not? Usually, yes. If the conversation comes up, I just tell them I don't go to church anymore. That usually leads to more questions, but I can generally deflect those with a "it's not god that's the problem, it's the church" which generally gets people to launch into a story or 12 of nasty 'Church Folk' they've known and soon they forget all about my not going to church anymore. So, that much is pretty easy. Do I tell them I find the Divine easier to access when I conceive of Her as female? Uh. No. That's likely to get my lynched around here. Or called a witch. Not that I mind that label too much, it's just not accurate and I figure most people around here are confused enough about witchcraft and paganism, I don't need to add to it. But anyway, how much responsiblity do I have to let people know how I really believe?
There are personal safety issues to consider. Most people around here wouldn't do anything but look at me funny and promise to pray for me. But there's always the idiot, drunk redneck who could get some crazy notion in his head to do Something About It. I don't worry too much about work backlash, since I work for Big Company and they know they could get sued for religious discrimination. And most of my friends have at least some idea of how I believe. And yet...is that enough? Actually, most of my friends are pretty cool about it. I've become the de facto go-to girl about /any/ non-Christian religion. (Because, clearly, I know just soooo much about Judiasm. Or Buddhism. Or Islam. Actually, that does kinda irk me. Any non-Christian faith around here just kinda gets lumped in with every other non-Christian faith. *sigh*)
Also, with my sexuality, exactly how out am I supposed to be? This one is harder for me than religion, because frankly I'm more likely to get physically hurt over it. It's truely astonishing how must resistance and bigotry there is around this place to anyone whose not completely Vanilla Hetero. Again, it's the default assumption. People see me and assume, oh, she likes men. Well, yes, actually, I do. But I like women too. And sometimes, I like women more than men. Sometimes, I like men more than women. It's not an easy thing to explain to people and people don't like to be confused.
Some of my friends know I'm bi and some are really pretty damned sure, I just haven't actually said it to them. If I showed up at their house one day with a girlfriend, it would suprise them exactly none. At work? Eh. No. Not really. It's not a secret, exactly, I just haven't ever brought it up. And when I thought about it, someone would come up and make a really awful remark about 'those gay people' and that shut me right up. Which may be cowardly, but I just don't want the extra drama at the office. I call people on the comments, don't misunderstand me, I've just never said they applied to me in particular.
My family? Ha. No. Not going to be telling them anytime soon. Unless I meet a woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, anyway. Then they'll just learn to deal. I think my mother would be...okay, with it. She wouldn't like it, but she's very very good at denial. And she's gotten much better at accepting that I'm an adult and have my own life and she doesn't have any say in it. My father though, I think it would break his heart. And that's a hard thing to deal with. My father and I didn't have a particularly close relationship when I was growing up. I didn't turn out the way he expected his little girl to, I think. I was extremely headstrong, decidedly not girly, hated the very rural life he was living, dove headfirst into all sorts of things that scared him to death and generally did whatever I wanted and didn't care what other people thought about me. On one hand, he's insanely proud of me. On the other, he doesn't know how to handle a daughter who doesn't act like a girl is 'supposed to.'
We're much better now, though. My relationship with both my parents got a hellava lot better when I moved out of the house all those many years ago. Now that my brother has finally given them a grandbaby, things are pretty close to peachy. (Because if they looked at me for a grandchild one more time, I was going to scream. You'd think the fact that I've been telling them since I was 12 that I didn't want children would have given them a clue, but no.)
And yet...and yet I know I can't tell them this. I would, like I said, if I meet the woman o'my dreams. There are limits to how much I'm willing to protect them and sacrificing a good relationship is not one of them. But do they need to know otherwise? If it would cause them pain and cause nothing but drama for the family, is it really worth it to lay all the cards on the table?
Labels: bisexuality, pagan, religion
