Butterfly Cauldron

Monday, April 02, 2007

Dear Idiot,

It is considered, in polite society, the thing to do, you know. When you must cancel an appointment, an engagement or a date. I realize that perhaps they do not teach you this in Mississippi, but for the rest of the civilized world, the canceling of a date requires a simple phone call. If the callee is not at home, a simple message on the machine "So sorry, but I can't make it. My grandma got sick/the cat has the flu/Satan is in the White House/pick your favorite excuse." This is considered courteous behaviour and, interestingly enough, increases your odds of getting laid, should the callee wish to reschedule your date.

What should you not do? Well, you should certainly never, ever simply not show up without calling. But, should you have an issue -- like, perhaps, you lost a phone number -- you could avail yourself of the wonders of email. It's not exactly top brow, I know, but a date broken over an email is much preferable to the No Show, No Call method you choose to employ. And, as this was in fact a first date, you need not worry about excessively injured feelings upon breaking the date. After all, we have known each other far far too little time for either of us to have developed genuine fondness for the other.

And yet, I now feel a certain emotion toward you. Yes. Yes, I do. What is this emotion? Why, it is annoyance. And the urge to stab you in the eyes for your boorish behaviour. But, being a civilized person, I will refrain. I simply hold to the universal truth that what you put out returns to you, often trifold. And I think now that the previous girlfriend you told me of was correct in the cancelation of your wedding.

And so, since you have yet to call me, I leave this message here, should you find it. I fear you may find my phone unanswered, should you attempt to call. After all, I am a busy girl. Cats to pet, men to seduce, worlds to conqueor and all that.

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posted by Zan at 5:02 PM

5 Comments:

How rude!

My condolences. You're probably better off.

8:00 PM  

Oh, doubtlessly better off. And the bastard STILL hasnt' called! Gah. But anyway, I'm going to spend the weekend in New Orleans :)

7:08 AM  

Ooo, fun!

:)

3:32 PM  

aw, crap, that totally bites! hope NO is/was a blast...

2:04 PM  

What a charmer.
All the standard advice applies here. Honestly, it's a good thing you realised now that this person has no manners, before you wasted any more time on him.
I would use the "raised by wolves" analogy, but wolves are actually rather admirable creatures capable of handling complex social interactions, unlike the cretin you encountered.
Have fun in NO!

5:38 PM  

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