Friday, October 27, 2006
If my lover ever did this to me. . .
This is a site put up by a guy about his wife -- who has gained a good bit of weight since they met. Why? Oh, because he wanted the opinions of other people as to whether she was too fat or not. No, seriously. Is my girlfriend too fat? She was a size four when we meet but now she's in the double digits! *whine*.
No word on if she even knows he's doing this, but I can't imagine someone...hell, actually. I can imagine someone (a man, of course) doing this and not thinking about how it would make her feel if she found out. (Insert standard disclaimer about not all men being this shitty here.)
And the comments! Gah. As a big girl (actually one not so far from Angela's size, it seems. Though quite a bit taller, I'm guessing), I'm almost as skivved by the Feeders comments as I am the Ew! Fat! people. It kinda freaks me out to think that my body is someone's kink. Because as comfortable as I am being a big girl, I do NOT want the attention of someone who only wants to be with me so they can feed me and get me fatter. If my weight naturally goes up over time, fine, but to intentionally alter your partner's body? Uh. No. That would be like me insisting my partner's got their nipples pierced or body covered in tattoes because I happen to think that's hot. Or insisting my man wear eyeliner out in public because it turns me on. If that's not his thing, well you know, you just deal.
I can understand being...unsettled...by drastic changes in your partner's body. I imagine, if I was with someone who lost a lot of weight or who lost and arm or eye or something, I'd feel a bit strange about it at first too. That's pretty normal. However, I don't understand putting up a fucking website for other people to throw daggers at them! Come on, did he expect people to not make the sort of comments they're making? (And frankly, what sort of person not only makes such a site, but leaves it up after seeing the hatred spewed at someone they claim to love?)
Doesn't marriage mean more than that, though? Isn't the point that you love and want to make a life with that person, regardless of their body/health/finances/whatever? Sure, there are some things that are non-negotiable, but something like weight? I don't get it. So long as there are not health problems, what's a bit more padding?
I mean, if I were in love with someone and committed my life to them, having them gain 50+ pounds wouldn't really change anything. Hell, I've easily gained that much during a bout of steroids, so I know how easy it is to put on pounds and how hard it can be to take them back off. And in the end, you don't marry a person for their body, for Gods sake. And if you do, it would be a favor to your spouse for you to leave them, so they can find someone who geniunely values them.
(And, I must be honest, I think that final picture of Angela in the black undies is incredibly beautiful.)