Butterfly Cauldron

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Deconstructing Mr. Fuck and Run

Well, I'm well and truely done with the Boy, from here on out to be known as Mr. Fuck and Run. Why? Because that's what he does.

After his first stint of sex, then silence he came back to me, all apologetic and sweet. I punished him for a bit, making him apologize and grovel a bit. It was fun. Then, since he was being sweet and I was decidedly horny, I let him back in. He came over, oh almost two weeks ago. We had some nice kinky sex and he left. (BTW, medical tape is great if you don't have rope or leather straps. And yes, Mermi, you can indeed get it at Target. I checked.) I told him, as he was leaving, that he'd better not go another month without talking to me or I wouldn't be letting him back in again. He said, "Oh, don't worry. It'll never happen." I said, I've got a five day vacation coming up. Find some time and come over and we can do this again.

Have I heard from him? Only one simple word. When I told him my ankle was still marked from the tape, he said: sorry. That's it. No other communication at all. My vaca came and went and did I? Well, yes. But not with any help from Mr. Fuck and Run. And so, it's been almost two weeks and no word from him again, although I know he's around, because he's on Yahoo Messenger. And so, I am done with him. I don't know what I'll do about sex, because I'm horny like crazy now, but oh well. He's worked himself outta lots of sex and he's got only himself to blame. I'm not merely some hole for him to avail himself of when he chooses.

And the thing is, if that's what we had agreed upon I wouldn't have a problem with it. But see, we had agreed to a friends with benefits deal. Which was great, except he seemed to think, once we'd had sex, he could skip the friends part. In fact, he seemed to think he could forget to 'acknowledge her when she speaks to me, unless I happen to want to have sex that day'. Which still, would have been workable, except ya know, when /I/ wanted to have sex, he was unreceptive. When I was all 'throw me on the floor and take me NOW!' he was....not responsive. Not talking to me. Not acknowledging me.

And so...no sex for him.

Here's the thing, he thought he was a lot better than he was. He is under the impression, dear sweet boy, that he's really well hung. Now, the fact is, he's not bad, but he's not exactly anything to write home about. Just about average, really. Nice and straight, but a little on the thin side. And well, despite being young, he's not got a ton of staying power. He had potentional, but seemed adverse to any direction. Trying to keep his fingers on my clit was a chore. I mean, when a woman takes your hand, puts it on her naked body and shows you how to touch her -- LISTEN.

And he was so damned quiet. Who is completely silent when they're having sex? Particularly kinky, rough sex? Well, Mr. Fuck and Run, that's who. I'm getting into it, and he's just....quiet. I mean, how can you work with that? I ask him what he wanted and he was...well, not exactly verbal. And he didn't seem to want to show me either. So, I don't know. I got the distinct feeling he didn't like being offered advice, like he bought into that whole 'men just KNOW how to make a woman orgasm.'

And, frankly, he wasn't nearly as rough as he thought he was. Maybe it's just me, but if you're tying me up and trying to be the Bad Guy, it helps if you, oh I don't know, use your hands or talk or....I don't know, do something more than fuck. *sigh*

But still, I liked having sex, but it was more about having sex, not so much sex with him. And I want to have more sex. But I'm looking for someone a bit more...into me and my personal pleasure. This Boy has no idea how much I was willing to do with him and, frankly, he never will. Because the next time he comes asking? Eh. I don't think I'll be in the mood.

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posted by Zan at 5:13 PM


Oh, Zanny, please move on until you find someone who loves pussy and is particularly into yours. I mean, if someone's eager to learn, have at it, but if (s)he isn't, is (s)he worth your time?

It sounds as though you were making do. He sounds downright creepy, what w/ the silence, but if he's not a complete weirdo, then maybe he was overwhelmed and anxious and reluctant to admit his vast ignorance. Maybe the reality of kink was too different from his idea of it, or he's taking it as a sign that the person is easier to fuck than anyone who doesn't ascribe to BDSM.

7:44 PM  

Yeah. I was making due. I'm still trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe because I'm a nicer person than I want to be. I really do want someone just smitten with me, but it's hard to find that person, ya know? *sniffle*

I mean, I don't know WHY it's so hard. It doesn't make any sense. I'm cute, I'm smart, I'm funny, I'm pretty damned awesome. And yet...I am also sleeping alone. Bah.

And frankly, I really miss having someone actually stay over. None of this, fuck and gone.

And Mr. Fuck and Run just perplexes me. I mean, he was seriously the one pushing for this relationship. I was reluctant because of our age difference, but he was insistant. He called, he sent me messages, he came over and stayed for hours -- all before we actually had sex. But once we did? Bah. And I mean, this went on for fucking months. And then it's like...I don't know.

Still, the next one will be better. Dammit.

7:53 PM  

i doubt you will have much trouble finding someone who better suits your needs, i can picture the long line of anxious would-be lovers, windex'n their bathroom mirrors and stocking up on medical tape... i'm rather smitten myself:)

10:29 PM  

Oh, if only that were true! :) But, I press forth. Someone, somewhere. But my luck, he/she's stuck in China!! (The country, not the cat).

7:18 AM  

hmmm, i guess you will have to bring china to you (the country, cause cats don't come)

8:16 PM  

What a very strange boy. Is he mentally ill? The "frantically seek sex and then get it, then run away...then come back later" is all a bit puzzling. Maybe he's seeing someone else, too, and is just rather inept at juggling multiple partners?
Regardless, if he doesn't get the "If I put your hand there it means you should use it" part then he's not worth bothering with, really.

8:14 PM  

Well, he's got a pretty bad case of ADD. And ya know, I wouldn't have a problem if he had other partners. Just, ya know, tell me. I don't need details or anything, but it would be nice to know and it would explain a lot. And he's not so much unwilling to go with the touching where I put the hand, but he doesn't touch right...too rushed. So, I don't know. OOOH! He decided to talk to me again! Maybe something about the tagline I had up. Quote from a Tori Amos song "Boy you'd best pray that I bleed real soon. . ." Not that I'm evil or anything....

8:26 PM  

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