Butterfly Cauldron

So, I'm emailing this girl here in town and we've been talking about writing, which both of us do. We've both got half a novel finished and just need to get back with it already! So, after an email last night where she asked me to tell her what my novel was about, I was forced to actually write it out to someone else. Which made me go, 'hey, ya know. I should pull that out and do some work on it." So, I did. And now I've got these characters buzzing in my head and They.Won't.Shut.Up.

Which is rather blissful for me, frankly. Good timing too. The girl I share the office with is on maternity leave for six weeks and I've got the place all to myself. Ha! Guess what I'm gonna be doing? Yes. You're quite right. Bad Zan, here's a publishing deal. Or something.

So, anyway, last night I pulled out the copy of what I've gotten written (hard copies rock, people. I became obessed with them when my thesis -- both of 'em! -- got eaten by computers when I was in the final round. Gah!) Something wasn't quite right with it before, which is why it got put down. Then I got sick and was on meds and well...that happens. Ahem. So, anyway I'm reading it and was like -- well, hell! One of my main charcters is the wrong fucking gender! Dammit. I hate it when that happens.

So, Adan is becoming Adrienne in the revisions I'm doing this weekend. Which makes things feel a bit more True. A few more tweeks will be necessary to the character, but essentially she's better now.

I'm also a bit concerned about one of the final scenes in the book. (Yeah, I write the last chapter first. I need to know where I"m going before I can figure out how to get there. Sue me.) It needs to be there, doubtlessly. It resolves one of the big conflicts, well, two of them, really. But it's kinda....Here's the thing: my heroine is, in my mind, a clearly feminist heroine. She's not saying it or whatnot, but the way she lives her life, the choices she makes, the relationships she has -- it's pretty damned clear. So, something happens to her in this chapter that needs to happen, but I'm worried about the reaction people are going to have to it.

And on one hand, I don't care. My story (Yeah, Zera says, your story. Keep telling yourself that Typing Slave.), my rules, right? And it makes sense. It's necessary. But it's not really pretty. And you know, it's more her reaction to what happens to her that is what I worry people will react badly to. (She says: Fuck 'em. Let 'em bitch. They would anyway. Now, go write me a damn sex scene! I haven't gotten laid since chapter three!!)

And so, now I'm thinking it's not so much a problem, but something to mull about. Hrm. Still, I think the scene isn't what people may read it as, so . . .(Again -- fuck 'em. I'm a big girl, I knew what I was getting into and did it willingly. Hello, isn't that called consent? Self-determination? So. Fuck 'em. Go.Write.My.Sex.Scene.Dammit.)

So, ahem. Well, yes. I'm writing again. (Thanks Bainen! ) I may be getting weird. Sorry :)

(Actually, my friends used to give me a giant berth when they knew I was writing. One day, I came out of my room to find Stef had stuck a note on my door -- Do not Disturb. She'll fucking Kill You!! Hmp.))

Labels: feminism, fun, writing