Monday, October 02, 2006
100 Insights into my Psyche
1. I'm the firstborn in my family
2. I have one brother, no sisters
3. My middle name is Elizabeth
4. I'm 5'10'"
5. I have never wanted to be anything but a writer, ever since I was a little girl
6. I've survived more suicide attempts than I can count
7. I have dreams about dancing turtles
8. When I was a little girl, I won a goldfish at the fair. His name was Abraham and he lived years longer than any fair goldfish
9. The first girl I had a crush on was my best friend. I was 16 at the time and it completely freaked me out.
10. Cats find me. I can move into a neighborhood completely free of them and within two week there will be half a dozen waiting outside for me.
11. I make my own candles
12. I also cross-stitch. I am obssessed with cross-stitching. My entire family has gotten presents of stitching from me. My walls are decorated with my pictures. I'm really good at it, even though the first time I tried to learn when I was a little girl I fucked it up entirely.
13. If I had a daughter, I'd name her Samara Jayne.
14. I have no idea what I would name a son. Which means I'll probably have one some day.
15. I hate pickles.
16. I hate cucumbers, too.
17. My favorite number is 15. I don't know why, it just is.
18. I did not name any of my current cats. My two best friends named them for me and the names just stuck.
19. I miss being out in the sunlight.
20. I dream about moving to the desert, but I know I can't because the sunlight would kill me.
21. I haven't had a real vacation in probably 10 years.
22. I'm sick of being poor.
23. I've lost 28 pounds in the last year, by cutting down on sugared soft drinks and fast food. I didn't mean to lose weight, I did it because I was having problems with my gall bladder and changing my diet made me feel better.
24. I make incredible meat loaf. My friends routinely request it.
25. I live in Louisiana, come from good Cajun stock and I cannot stand Cajun food.
26. I don't eat rice.
27. I used to be a Republican. I got better.
28. My hair naturally changes colors. This has nothing to do with the sun, since I avoid the sun at all costs.
29. I have my father's eyes.
30. I believe I will actually get married one day, probably in my 50s.
31. I talk to animals. And I think they understand me.
32. I have an atomic black thumb. When I walk through gardening sections, I can hear the plants screaming in horror.
33. I love golden apples, bananas and pears. They're the only fruits I eat.
34. I wear a size 11W shoe.
35. Most of my friends live at least an hour away from me.
36. I've become addicted to Grey's Anatomy because this woman is beautiful and should be my girlfriend.
37. I cannot stand most mainstream pop music.
38. I am addicted to punk rock and alt country. Because the lyrics generally mean something, dammit.
39. I swear so fucking bad in real life that I should come with a warning label.
40. I'm not nearly as rebellous as most people think I am. I just refuse to put up with unnessecary drama and shit.
41. I've been accused of being a drama queen.
42. My last vacation was in New Orleans, five months before Katrina hit.
43. My grandfather died when I was 13. It was horribly painful for me. I have never gone back to visit his grave, even though it is less than a quarter of a mile from my parents house and I visit them regularly.
44. My neice is obssessed with pink. I'm praying this is a phase.
45. I adore Spanish architecture.
46. I have a weakness for bed linens. I love good sheets and pretty comforters.
47. I've finally down to one medication per day. I was taking 14 per day, at one point.
48. I have migraines so bad that the doctors initially thought I was having seizures.
49. I have managed to 'cure' my migraines by taking 500 mgs of magnesium a day. It's cheap, it works and I can get it anywhere.
50. I spent a year in therapy talking about my parents and religion. It changed my life and I haven't been suicidially depressed since them.
51. My parents are unaware I was every actively suicidal.
52. I haven't gone on a date in several years. It's starting to bug me.
53. Only select friends know I'm bisexual.
54. I don't think I'll ever be able to tell my parents I'm bisexual.
55. I want to live near a beach at some point in my life.
56. I like to paint, although I have no formal training.
57. My hair is currently longer than it's been since I was in high school.
58. It is also as close to my natural color as it's been in a while.
59. I have strange reactions to drugs.
60. I have never been drunk.
61. I cannot say the same thing about being high.
62. I hate the color blue. It makes me want to stab people.
63. I don't like being called domestic.
64. I like to cook, but I have no one to cook for, so I don't.
65. My favorite colors are brown, dark orange and green.
66. I wish I'd gone to college on the coast.
67. I took piano lessons when I was young, but I don't play.
68. I played bass clarinet in school. I absolutely loved it.
69. I love the sound of a bass guitar.
70. I almost drowned in Italy.
71. While I was drowning, I had a vision of the Goddess standing on the beach. It felt like I was being claimed.
72. Most people think you're crazy when you say you had a vision while you were drowning, but I don't care.
73. While flying home from Italy, our plane dropped several thousand feet as we were flying over Louisiana. I was too surprised to scream, but everyone else did. My seatbelt caught me and left a bruise across my belly.
74. I broke international laws in Italy. We were tresspassing on archeological sites, but we never got caught.
75. In college, I toyed with the idea of being an anthropologist. I wanted to do physical archeology, so I could play with bones and artifacts.
76. I love really ancient history.
78. I did my Master's thesis on women writers in Ancient Greece. There were several, well-known at the time, but completely ignored today.
79. My professors knew about my interests (women writers/rhetors) so when they saw I was enrolled in their class, they would change the syllabus to include women they would otherwise have left out. Because if they didn't, I always called them out on it.
80. I was told my thesis defense was the most professional the department had ever seen.
81. I don't think I have any secrets anymore, although no one knows everything about me.
82. At one point, I thought about joining the Unitarian Church and trying to become a minister. I got over that idea.
83. I am fascinated by religion, even though the one I was raised with damaged me badly.
84. I actually had a visit home this weekend that did not include a single conversation about religion.
85. I like hardwood floors instead of carpet.
86. My favorite ice cream is Tin Roof.
87. I love hazelnut coffee.
88. I love just about any flavor tea you can find. Except raspberry or blueberry. Yech.
89. I have no clocks in my house except for my bedside alarm.
90. I don't wear a watch.
91. I don't have a cell phone.
92. I have never text messaged anyone.
93. I cannot stand 'net speak.' Type out the words, dammit.
94. I love downloading music.
95. In a past life, I think I was a cat.
96. I look forward to being an old woman.
97. I believe I'm going to live to be an old woman. This is a new development. I used to believe I'd never see 40.
98. I think youth is overrated.
99. I own more books than pairs of shoes.
100. I'm finally finished with this list!